Attachment Styles and Relationships Essay Example for Free

Attachment Styles and Relationships Essay As human being there is the thought that love is difficult to understand. Why are some people attracted to the people that they are attracted to and what is it that draws them to each other? Understanding the dimensions of love and knowing attachment styles clear up some of the confusion. There are three dimensions of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. These are known as the triangular theory of love (Sternberg, 1986, 1987). Intimacy refers to mutual understanding, warm affection, and mutual concern for the others welfare (Baumgardner, 2009). Intimacy is imperative to a relationship if it is going to last. With intimacy there is a bond or a closeness between a couple. If a couple has intimacy, they are connected on more of an emotional level than a couple who only experiences passion. Intimate couples have more of a chance to move on to commitment as well. While intimacy is a big step toward commitment, having intimacy does not necessarily mean that there will be commitment on anyone’s part. There may be nothing more to the relationship other than the passion and intimacy which is romantic love. As long as neither person plans to be with this person for a long time there is not a commitment. Passion means strong emotion, excitement, and physical arousal, often tied to sexual desire and attraction (Baumgardner, 2009). Passion can be lustful infatuation but is also an important element to a happy and strong relationship. A relationship without any of these components could be in danger of dissolving, however, in our society today, sex and passion is very important. The importance placed on sex by society is taught to children early in life, most before they know what it is. A couple without passion could lose the bond they have created through intimacy without any passion and risk them falling out of love. Commitment is the conscious decision to stay in a relationship for the long haul (Baumgardner, 2009). Being committed does not necessarily mean that there is intimacy and passion involved. Many couples decide to stay together for different reasons even though there is no love involved. Some couples stay together for the benefit of the children if there are any, others may be bused or have low self-esteem, or it may be ma simple matter of convenience. Consummate love combines high levels of all three dimensions to create a complete love. This is a love where some of the components may fade but are never completely gone. Intimacy, passion, and commitment may be stronger in some couples than others but they are happy and in tune with each other. These couples prefer the company of each other over going out with a group or crowd. They always touch or have some type of contact with each other and prefer to be close to each other most of the time. The attachment theory raises the intriguing possibility that some of our most basic, and perhaps unconscious, emotional responses to intimacy are shaped by the relationships we have with our parents (Baumgardner, 2009). Infant attachment styles look at the relationship between children and their caregivers. There is an assessment of attachment styles known as the strange situation test. This experiment involved an infant, the child’s mother, and a stranger in a room equipped with toys. The test involved seeing how the child would react when the mother left the room, then again when the stranger left and came back in a specific order. Most infants showed a secure attachment style. This style shows that the child is secure and confident while the mother is in the room, and as the mother leaves, shows some distress and plays with less of the toys. After the mother returns, so does the child’s confidence. Some of the children exhibited no signs of distress when their mothers left the room and even avoided the mother. This is avoidance attachment style. The anxious-ambivalent attachment style is the style used to describe the minority of children who both seek and avoid the mother’s attention. They played very little and showed great distress when the mother left the room. The parenting style of the mothers to these children were avoidant and almost neglectful, showing mixed feelings toward the child. There are four adult attachment styles also. Secure attachment, preoccupied attachment, fearful avoidant attachment, and dismissing avoidant attachment. Secure attachment style describes people who are confident in their relationship, with no anxiety or avoidance. A relationship of a couple with secure attachment style experiences positive emotions and sensitivity toward each other’s needs. The preoccupied attachment style represents people who want intimacy but have high levels of anxiety and low self-esteem. Their actions are centered more on themselves that those of the people they claim to love even though they may seem loving and caring. The fearful attachment style describes people who are high in avoidance and anxiety because of their low self-esteem and fear of being rejected. These people display a lack of love for themselves and therefore, feel they cannot be loved. These people show little to no trust toward people and may come off as hostile or distant. Dismissing avoidant attachment describes people who are high in avoidance and low anxiety. This type of people are usually self-reliant, independent, and confident. Basically their view is that they do not need other people because they, themselves, are all they need. Relationships with these people are usually without commitment and less intimacy than those of secure or preoccupied attachment styles (Baumgardner, 2009). People’s attachment styles define what their relationship will be like. For example, a person who exhibits the fearful avoidant attachment may be alone most of his or her life because they are too afraid of rejection to ask for or accept a date. People with secure attachment have healthy relationships and seem more satisfied with their lives. If a person is unhappy with themselves the idea that no one else could love them could destroy a relationship. To make sure both parties are equally happy, compromises and considerations need to be thought of. Getting to know all of the things a person likes and dislikes is the most exciting part of a new relationship. If done well, it will result in a well-rounded couple.

Themes of Love and Obsession in Emily Brontes Wuthering Heights Essay

Themes of Love and Obsession in Wuthering Heights      Ã‚   "My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff" (81)" These words, uttered by Catherine, in the novel Wuthering Heights are for me the starting point in my investigation into the themes of love and obsession in the novel. Catherine has just told her housekeeper that she has made up her mind to marry Edgar Linton, although she is well aware that her love for him is bound to change as time passes. That she is obsessed by her love for Heathcliff she confirms in the above quotation and by saying that she will never, ever be separated from him. Why does she not marry him then? Well, she has another obsession too: she does not want to degrade herself by marrying him. Instead she thinks that by wedding Linton she can aid Heathcliff to rise.    Heathcliff, who has been ill-treated by his foster brother Hindley, is obsessed by his thoughts of revenge: "I'm trying to settle how I shall pay Hindley back. I don't care how long I wait, if I can only do it at last. I hope he will not die before I do!" (64).He comes back after three years, during which time nobody at Wuthering Heights or The Grange have known his whereabouts, and the first person he is eager to meet is Catherine. She reacts with a mixture of fright and passion, and accuses Heathcliff of being cruel as he has not been heard of for such a long time. His joy to see her again is unmistakable: "A little more than you have thought of me," he murmured "I heard of your marriage, Cathy, not long since; and, while waiting in the yard below, I meditated this plan: - just to have one glimpse of your face, a stare of surprise, perhaps, ... ...s dream and calls her a minx, Heathcliff cannot control his vehement emotions. When he realizes that his life is coming to an end he carries through his will to be buried in the same grave as the woman he loved so fervently.    My conclusion is that in this novel the themes of love and obsession are interconnected. The love between Catherine and Heathcliff runs all through the story, and that love is the reason for Heathcliff's obsession to have his revenge. He never got over being rejected by her. And he never stopped loving Catherine as long as he lived: "Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!" (148).    Work Cited: Brontà «, Emily. Wuthering Heights. Penguin Popular Classics, 1994.   

Religion is the Key to Success Essay

Religion should have an impact on everyone’s life. According to Karen Armstrong, without religion, people would not be able to discover their own personal reason of life with a pure reason or purpose set by any guidelines. As a result of obtaining a good foundation of faith in your religion, it will not only positively affect your life on a personal level, but the community as a whole. If we look back at human antiquity, we commonly find that people of many different religions, traditions, and cultures had one main goal of finding the meaning of peace and purity in their own â€Å"selves†. In the seventeenth century BCE, the Hindus created a book of philosophical texts called the Upanishads, holding the main idea of finding ones sacred self, or atman. This sacred book led tranquility and serenity into the everyday lives of many Hindus. According to Armstrong, the purpose of religion has been and always should be to help us live peacefully, creatively, and even joyously. Armstrong also states that by engaging in religious practices and forms of life, people can live their lives on a higher divine plane and thus discover their own true selves. Karen Armstrong believes that religion does help people to find beneficial meanings in their lives and does allow people discover their inner selves. Throughout the passage â€Å"Homo Religiosus† written by Karen Armstrong, there are many historical events coming from various cultural and religious backgrounds that support her belief in which religion does and should play a crucial part in everyone’s lives. However, not only does religion bring harmony and principle in people’s lives, but religion also aids people in finding a legitimate meaning in their life and in the world. It helps to positively strengthen the relationship between the people leading to the elimination of greed, hatred, and pride in communities. Like Confucius beliefs, the Buddhists had a state of peace of their own. Nirvana was the natural result of a life lived according to the doctrine of Buddha’s anatta. Anatta required Buddhists to live as if though the self did not exist, which led to corruption fading away. It is stated, â€Å"His (a monk’s) greed fades away, and once his cravings disappear, he experiences the release of the mind† (Miller and Spellmeyer 37). This text states that when the people heard about annata, their hearts were occupied with joy and they immediately experienced Nirvana. As a result, people were living between each other with love, care, and ease towards one another which led to a better life style overall. The famous Confucius practice Golden Rule is also another example of religion brining peaceful meanings in ones life. Confucius, the most famous religious icon in Chinese history, clarifies the meaning behind the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule states that an individual should treat another the same way he/she would like to be treated by others. Confucius would later explain that the practice of the Golden Rule would bring people into a state of ren, which is a state of compassion and love. Although ren did bring peace and love between the people of Confucius, it is stated that it was so hard to entirely be in this state. It was stated that people had a hard time achieving a full state of ren. Nonetheless, people desired being in this pure state. Yan Hui, Confucius’s greatest student, said with a deep sigh, Yan Hui stated, â€Å"The more I strain my gaze towards it, the higher it soars. The deeper I bore down into it, the harder it becomes. I see it in front, but suddenly it is behind. Step by step, the Master skillfully lures one on. He has broadened me with culture, restrained me with ritual. Even if I wanted to stop, I could not. Just when I felt that I have exhausted every resource, something seems to rise up, standing over me sharp and clear. Yet though I long to pursue it, I can find no way of getting it all† (Miller and Spellmeyer 38). This passage explains how hard people were trying to obtain this state. Religion as defined by the mentors of great countries like India, China, and the Middle East was not something impossible, yet it was a realistic one. It was not about believing in a God or believing in a divine being. Religion was based on physical activities, disciplined work, and robust undertakings on a daily basis. Back then, religion had its real meaning of organizing ones life and basing ones life on religion. Sadly, religion has its own different inappropriate meaning nowadays. Which leads to my point of Karen Armstrong talking about how many people find the concept of God and religion so troublesome simply because they have lost sight of this important understanding. She also explains how for each separate religion, there is an ontological approach to understanding it. Many people have simply just given up on God because of self-corruption like greed, stubbornness, and impatience. In Greek mythology, it is stated, â€Å" No god can survive unless he or she is actualized by the practical activity of ritual, and people often turn against gods who fail to deliver. The rites and practices that that once made him a persuasive symbol of the sacred are no longer effective, and people have stopped participating in them. He has therefore become otiosus, an etiolated reality who for all intents and purposes has indeed died or gone away† (Miller and Spellmeyer 31). If God does not comply the peoples needs, then they will turn against this god and he/she will no longer be effective. In the passage, it is also explains how religion requires a disciplined cultivation of a different mode of consciousness. This basically means that before you perform any religious task, you must pursue ekstasis, which literally means stepping out the norm you are accustomed to. Unfortunately, nowadays people are either to lazy or lost desire to seek any religious salvation simply because many things have taking over our world like media, entertainment, sports, music etc. They pursue other means to stand outside the norm. It is like they almost feel free when they are listening to the type of music they desire, or play the type of sport they seek, or are entertained by media that they desire. Karen Armstrong proves her point â€Å" Today people who no longer find it in a religious setting resort to other outlets: music, dance, art, sex, drugs, or sport. We make a point of seeking out these experiences that touch us deep within and lift us momentarily beyond ourselves. At such times, we feel that we inhabit our humanity more fully than usual and experience an enhancement of being† (Miller and Spellmeyer 27) In conclusion, Armstrong strongly anchors her belief of religion having a positive influential affect on people’s lives, helping them find a purpose in their life, and aiding them in discovering their true selves. She has her belief backed up by many famous religious icons from different backgrounds like Buddha, Confucius, and even Greek mythology. She explained how it helps organize people’s lives, better the relationship between two people and last but not least, it helps purify a person’s whole entire life. Reassuringly, religion, does quite in fact, impacts the lives of many. Works Cited 1)Miller, Richard E., and Kurt Spellmeyer. â€Å"Homo Religiosus.† The New humanities reader. 4th ed. Boston, Massachusetts: Lyn Uhl, 2009. 38. Print. 2) â€Å"Vinaya Texts, Part I (SBE 13) – Mahà ¢vagga – First Khandaka.† Internet Sacred Text Archive Home. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Sept. 2013. 3) Miller, Richard E., and Kurt Spellmeyer. â€Å"Homo Religiosus.† The New humanities reader. 4th ed. Boston, Massachusetts: Lyn Uhl, 2009. 37. Print. 4) Miller, Richard E., and Kurt Spellmeyer. â€Å"Homo Religiosus.† The New humanities reader. 4th ed. Boston, Massachusetts: Lyn Uhl, 2009. 27. Print. 5) Miller, Richard E., and Kurt Spellmeyer. â€Å"Homo Religiosus.† The New humanities reader. 4th ed. Boston, Massachusetts: Lyn Uhl, 2009. 31. Print. View as multi-pages

Market Structures And Ideal Pricing Strategies - 1885 Words

Abstract Market Structures are determined by the types of firms that are in them. Different firms have different characteristics that make them ideal for different structures. Several factors come into play n determining which market structure a firm belongs to; a firm without competition and can determine prices and output is automatically in the monopoly market structure. Smaller, multiple and similar firms are in a perfectly competitive market and so on. Different market structures employ different pricing strategies. These market structures and their ideal pricing strategies are described below. 1. Perfect Competition†¨ 1.1. Description†¨ This is a market structure which is characterized with numerous firms that are almost equal in strength and none can therefore influence that price that the said market structure. This means that in this market structure the price of products is determined by normal market forces such as demand and supply (Morris Morris, 1990). A perfect competition market therefore has the following characteristics; a large number of firms that have equal power. Another characteristic of perfectly competitive markets is that there are no barriers of entry or exit. Third, the firms are likely to trade in the same variety of products and the only competition is competition based. When it comes to the prices in this market structure, both companies and the consumers are both price takes and since none of them can determine the price of aShow MoreRelatedMarket Structures and Competitive Strategies1193 Words   |  5 PagesMarket Structures and Competitive Strategies ECO/365 Market Structures and Competitive Strategies Introduction There are many other soft drink makers but Coca Cola has been renowned to be one of the world’s top best soft drink makers and is among the best brands ever for a lot of years. It has the gain of a marketplace leader spot in drinks dealing with Pepsi in the subsequent spot. 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